No.. am not stoned or drunk...and neither are you (hopefully)...you read the title right...its about a fucking woodpecker. Bugger turns up every morning to tak-tak-tak-tak-tak the hell out of me... the irritating sound it creates would make a cross between himesh reshammiya and marilyn manson seem innocuous...anyways i guess i oughta give you a better insight into the trauma i suffer every morning..
My bedroom is on the second floor of my house... and right opposite to my window is a tall tree of beautiful magnolia flowers... its spring time and the flowers are in full bloom, a great sight to look at the first thing in the morning... but my nocturnal instincts are stronger and i normally dont sleep before 4.30-5.00 am.. and just when my sleep is at its peak....it starts...tak-tak-tak-tak-tak-tak-tak-tak-tak....
I moved here during the winters... and there was absolutely no scope to practise ornithology...but with the dawn of spring..the birds started flocking arnd in large groups...but its this one that stands out...the fucking woodpecker... there must be about 25 large trees in the same area... some larger than the one thats right next to my window.. but for some strange reason.. the fucker likes only this one. I guess its some weird perverse sadistic motive that the pecker choose this particular tree...doesnt even go elsewhere...and of all the possible spots on this 20 feet tall tree chose one that is bang next to my window..
The trauma has been so tremedous that after one drinking binge with mates..when i got back home...i couldnt sleep with the window open...fearing that the wood pecker would come in and sit and peck on my head instead!! Tired of all this i finally decided to defend my territory ... but then, there wasnt any offensive move from its side that was purely physical in natureand hence, i decided that i must retaliate in the same way...but then HOW THE FUCK DO YOU MENTALLY TORTURE A WOODPECKER?????????? any answers???
My bedroom is on the second floor of my house... and right opposite to my window is a tall tree of beautiful magnolia flowers... its spring time and the flowers are in full bloom, a great sight to look at the first thing in the morning... but my nocturnal instincts are stronger and i normally dont sleep before 4.30-5.00 am.. and just when my sleep is at its peak....it starts...tak-tak-tak-tak-tak-tak-tak-tak-tak....
I moved here during the winters... and there was absolutely no scope to practise ornithology...but with the dawn of spring..the birds started flocking arnd in large groups...but its this one that stands out...the fucking woodpecker... there must be about 25 large trees in the same area... some larger than the one thats right next to my window.. but for some strange reason.. the fucker likes only this one. I guess its some weird perverse sadistic motive that the pecker choose this particular tree...doesnt even go elsewhere...and of all the possible spots on this 20 feet tall tree chose one that is bang next to my window..
The trauma has been so tremedous that after one drinking binge with mates..when i got back home...i couldnt sleep with the window open...fearing that the wood pecker would come in and sit and peck on my head instead!! Tired of all this i finally decided to defend my territory ... but then, there wasnt any offensive move from its side that was purely physical in natureand hence, i decided that i must retaliate in the same way...but then HOW THE FUCK DO YOU MENTALLY TORTURE A WOODPECKER?????????? any answers???
8 comments:
hmmmm...maybe if you got drunk one night.. i mean really drunk... and started talking to the creature when its on it's rounds... just might work you know ;)
L
L... i sure would love to do that...but how do i get up on the tree then??? plus i guess the only way it communicates is by pecking into the tree bark... i'll have to get some tool to do that... will try to do that tho!!
Do they make inflatable scarecrows?
Oh i so wish they'd make one.... but no point actually..anything that fascinates the pecker is pecked at... and i dont think the inflatable one would last...though a steel one would be a good idea...wil break its beak..hehehe
yeah right... better still would be a life-size steel porcupine!
i got the part of having a life size steel creature... pray elaborate on why a PORCUPINE!!! :S
Well, a Porcupine would be a more effective deterrent (with its sharp quills) for your birdie than a mere scarecrow. Hoohaa!
if only the woodpecker got the drift as well.. ;-).. hehehe
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