Oasis And Me

I had this strange dream.. I met my favourite band, Oasis.. and as usual.. Noel Gallagher did all the talking.. Liam Gallagher was grunting and drinking and lamenting the absence of spliffs or crack.. and there was a bassy and a drummer as well.. but who cares abt them anyways.. Oasis has always been all about the Gallaghers and their antics.. anyways.. the conversation went something like this..

NG- Noel Gallagher

LG- Liam Gallagher

M- ME... hehehe

(PS- i did try really hard to capture the manchester accent.. ;-))

M- yo geezers.. ssp!!!

LG- *grunt*

NG- ooii maite.. Oow ye doin aye?

M- good.. you tell me.. when's your new album comin out.. i'm waiting for it..

NG- Liam!!! thaa ain coke ye cunt ! its table sal.. doun sniffi ... Sorrey.. the new aalbum.. yeea.. aa guess we'd be don withi by August...

M- thats cool.. you want a pint?

LG- *grunt*

(I get three pints of beer... without a warning Liam jumps and downs one... settles down with the second.. third goes to Noel..)

M- so Noel.. i heard you gonna be a dad soon aye??

NG- yeea maite.. thas wha my missus told me.. i doun reeally know when it happened.. but feels good.. wait a sec tho.. Liam.. where the fuck were you six months back??

LG- (finally speaks!! RELIEF!!) I wasnt sleeping with her you fucker.. i was doing my songbird..

*grunt*

NG- ahh.. must be me then .. hahaha.. these days you really dont know who's doing whom.. anyways.. i'm really waiting for the child cos my missus is beautiful and i'm a genius..

LG- Genius? haaaaaaaaahahahahaa... my dick can strum the guitar better and my shit smells better than your lyrics..

NG- WHAT?

M- (trying to diffuse the situation) Ohh he is still high from the last joint i guess... dont mind him!

NG- yeah well whatever.. so what are we doing here anyways maite??

M- er.. its my dream and you guys are my favs and thats why you are here...

NG- ahhh .. its fuckin cool aye.. innit Liam??

LG- *nods* lets sing him something.. Maybeeeee... I daauunt reeellly wanna nooooooooo.. How your gaaardeeeennnnn grooooooooooooowwwwss... cause I just waaaanna plaaaaaaayyyyyy...

NG- fucking aye.. you sound like shit.. stop it..!!!

LG- why dont you sing it in ur sissy voice... makes me feel like puking right up your nose..

(heavy swearing follows... stuff that cant be mentioned here comes out... now i know who is more gross than me.. Liam throws the empty beer bottle at Noel.. he dodges.. picks his guitar to hit Liam)

M- oyeee you fellas should stop that shit.. you aint performing for the public... so cut the crap and just sing the songs...

NG- lad's got a point Liam... no public.. no publicity.. innit?

LG- *grunt* whatever..

(And then they belted all my favourite songs.. one after the other.. and it was awesome... the drummer had some cocaine.. and Liam put it on the floor as he couldnt find any other place to do it.. it was funny to see him sniff it off the floor and sing at the same time.. Noel tried to kick him so that he'd start singing again.. but some time later i saw both of them sniffing it off the floor.. when i couldnt see it anymore.. and after Noel pleaded..(he obviously couldnt play the guitar sniffing coke off the ground) i decided to stop it for them...)

NG-Cheers maite... i owe you one!!

M- oh you can give it to me now.. just look at the stuff i wrote.. i want to compose tunes for 'em.. got two or three in mind ..jus check 'em out aye?

NG- sure!!

(I make him go through my blog.. Liam pukes.. Noel is buzzed..)

NG- Maite.. what do you trip on when you write that??

M- what??

NG- do you do cocaine?

M- hell fuck no!!

NG- do you smoke up??

M- No way mate!!

NG- Ow .. Oow the feeccccccckkk do ye come up with thaa??

M-(rather sheepishly) er.. I listen to Oasis when i write..

(And then Liam got up, grabbed the mike and ran straight at me... not far behind was Noel.. with his electric gibson..and no he wasnt in a mood to hear me play the songs.. and surprisingly the bassy and the drummer were running after me... expectedly the dream got over...)

But something strange.. i still cant explain my mum abt some white stuff on the floor.. sniffing which the Ants got high... well.. as NG says..

you can wait for the right time...

to spend your days in the sunshine..

you might as well do the white line..

cos when it comes on top..

you gotta make it happen...

Guess ants werent on his mind when he wrote that... !!!

PS: I LOVE OASIS to the core!!! AND i dont do any drugs.. except Oasis.. ;-)